4 Lessons I Wish I Had Learned Earlier in Life
From Loving Myself to Embracing the Present, These Are the Things That I Didn’t Learn About Until I Moved Halfway Across the Globe
About five years ago, I embarked on a journey halfway across the world, and it was much greater than I could have ever expected. My four years in Taiwan were some of the most formative years of my life. I gained self-awareness, learned what it meant to love myself — and others — and went through countless changes both good and bad.
It’s through those changes and experiences that I learned some of my most valuable life lessons — lessons I wish I’d learned much earlier. And today I’ve come to share those lessons with you.
Here are four things I wish I had learned earlier in life.
1. It’s Never too Late or too Early to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
I spent much of my life playing it safe. And while there isn't anything necessarily wrong with that, I’ve come to learn that being able to step outside of your comfort zone can be quite rewarding.
Many of us have things we‘d love to try but are too afraid or too shy to try them. We often look at others who dare to try new things and, for whatever reason, we turn away uttering the words “I could never do that.”
What we often fail to appreciate in those moments is that there is so much that can be gained from asking yourself “why not?”
It took me traveling thousands of miles away from home, to a place I’d never imagined visiting, for me to appreciate the good that can come out of trying new things.
From trying frog (it really does taste like chicken) and snake to dancing in front of an audience for the first time, saying yes to new experiences helped me recognize just how liberating (and enjoyable) stepping out of my comfort zone could be.
It’s because of that recognition that I’ve been able to do things I was once far too afraid to do. That includes applying for new jobs (even if I felt unqualified), sending out writing pitches (even if they weren’t accepted), and making new social connections (even though it makes me nervous).
Now, when faced with the fear and anxiety that often comes with stepping out of the comfort zone, I simply ask myself “why not?”
And the truth is, you don’t have to wait until you’re in a place where no one knows who you are or in some new and exotic city to try new things. You can do it now.
Take a leap of faith, do that thing you’ve been hesitant to do, and I’m sure you’ll gain something from it.
2. Dare to Love Who (and What) You Are
A while back I shared what it felt like finding a book with a black girl on the cover while living in Asia. In it, I mentioned just how overwhelming being a foreigner in a mostly homogenous society was sometimes.
I was constantly reminded of the fact that I was different. I wasn’t just a foreigner. I was a black foreigner with “chocolate” skin and hair that perplexed others.
After years of blatant staring, pointing, and even some snickers during train rides, the words “hei ren” (黑人, Mandarin for “black person”) have been forever etched into my mind. But after all those years, I’ve also learned to think to myself, “so what?”
While it was annoying and at times infuriating, constantly being reminded of what I was gave me a much greater sense of awareness. And it also taught me the importance of self-acceptance.
I’m a black woman, with brown skin and thick, coily hair. That’s never going to change. And even if my existence might make some people look on in fear or confusion or even in awe, I’m proud of who and what I am.
After realizing that, and accepting it, I gained a sense of confidence in who I was. The comments and the calls got the best of me on some days, but at the same time, it enabled me to understand who I was, how some people in the world perceived me, and how to not care about how people perceived me.
Embracing who you are and learning to love who you are can be difficult, but that doesn’t change how important it is that you learn to do so.
3. There’s Always Something New to Learn
I studied medical laboratory science, but I learned so much in realms far beyond medicine.
I learned that there is so much to see and experience in the world, and so much beauty in diversity.
The wonderful thing about experiencing life as an international student is that you get to witness a melting pot of colorful and fascinating cultures from all over the globe just on one campus. Even in my small class of thirteen, there were students from seven different countries, some of which I’d never dreamed of meeting people from before.
I also discovered that, even though some of us were separated by vast oceans and entire continents, we still shared similar cultural elements (colonialism, anyone?).
When one of my closest friends from the Solomon Islands wrote a piece showing gratitude to Islander women and all that they do, I found myself in awe at how much I could relate it to the matriarchs of my own country.
I also learned how to count to 3 in Taiwanese. And I learned how to cook. Heck, just the other day I learned that octopuses can dream and coconut crabs aren’t true crabs.
My point? There’s always something new to learn or discover. Wherever you are — whoever you are — there’s always something new to add to the encyclopedia of things you know and things you can do, and that’s pretty damn amazing.
4. Embrace the Present Before It’s Too Late
I think one of the greatest things that I’ve come to learn about is the value of being able to live in the present moment. And every day I‘m reminded of just how important doing so is.
I’ve written about remembering to stop and enjoy sunsets before. For much of my life, I struggled to embrace the small, beautiful, and often fleeting moments in life before they passed me by. Instead, I was often fixated on the future or ruminating over the past.
When we focus too much on what has passed and what hasn’t come to pass as yet, we end up missing out on our own lives.
I always sit and miss the days I spent in Taiwan, wishing that I had stopped to bask in the beautiful moments a little bit more. There were many days when I would let a bad day or an unfortunate event cause me to think “I can’t wait till this is over.”
And then, when all was done and over with, I found myself looking back, wishing I was in the past again or wishing that I had appreciated past moments a bit more.
You can never relive the past, but you can always stand to appreciate the present a bit more.
Regardless of where I am in life now, the things that I gained from my four-year experience can never be unlearned. And regardless of where or when you are in life, there’s always a lesson to be learned.
What life-changing lessons have you learned recently?
